Integration, Integration, Integration. Repeat.

Bucket bathing definitely beats coffee in the morning. A warm bucket bath I was told is crucial for the winters, but this morning as the cold crisp air touches my skin I immediately regret bathing in the morning. Another lesson learned, not likely to bucket bathe in the morning.

As these past few days have passed, there has been a huge influx of information. I thought I knew what that would look like, or what to expect from other MI students that gave me insight on what PST feels like. But it’s entirely different hearing about how it will undergo and then going through it. In Setswana they would say, “Ke botshelo” or such is life. 

I would describe this feeling as an intense, stimulating, overwhelming, and brain exercising boot camp. As I move through week two, consistently we have language in the mornings from 7:30-9:30, then we have a jam-packed day lasting from 10:00 till 5:00. So far, this week has included where we had our interviews with our program managers of our individual sectors (mine is Clinic and Health Team aka CHT) that were one of the many evaluations conducted for our future site placement. Along with those interviews, we have had revolving sessions that include the informative topics, such as, Peace Corps medical policies and orientation to in-country care, Peace Corps’ approach to development, the Peace Corps goals, Botswana history and culture, and on the other hand covering sensitive topics that include, diversity and volunteer resiliency. Some topics seem to be easier to swallow and process than others, but overall I know it’s all for the greater good of training and preparing us for our actual site assignments. 

Constantly it has been drilled over and over, that it all depends on where we get placed. The key to understanding community needs and building sustainability through capacity building that address those needs is based on, can you guess? Yep, integration. 

On an interesting note, this year is Botswana’s 50^th birthday or celebration of its independence! It’s been interesting to get local perspectives on the holiday and festivities, mostly my host family members that don’t agree with the amount of money or attention that is being “excessively” spent due to it rather than allocating that money to other issues and urgent matters of the Botswana communities. There will be exciting events, such as, the Roving Torch that will celebrate the independence of Botswana by passing around a torch from town to town (August 12-14 is when it will reside in Molepolole) and returned back to Gabarone.

It was also interesting coming into Botswana while it’s entering a huge drought crisis. Some areas of Botswana do not have even have water tanks and have to go into neighboring towns to collect it, and recently it was discovered that a dam owned by Botswana in South Africa has been dried up completely. It definitely is a sensitive time to be entering Botswana and I hope with my time here that I make a positive difference to raise awareness of this highly critical environmental situation. 

Also we went over our Trainee Assessment Portfolios during the week that will basically analyze how well we perform and implement the learning objectives set by Peace Corps frameworks formed for the different sectors: Health, Government, NGO, Civil Society, and Life Skills. These are then analyzed by our written assignments/responses, interviews with our program managers, and practicum activities that include using participatory analysis for community action (PACA) tools (community mapping, the seasonal/academic calendar, activities, and needs assessment) to plan for our final projects with our assigned local organizations (most likely clinics, schools, or district health management offices). 

This session got me really excited and looking forward to the possibility of what my two years of service could look like. I feel like this will be my chance to not only implement and utilize the tools that Tulane gave me, but also the tools Peace Corps will hand me to empower and strengthen whatever community God places me in. Technically whatever community my program manager places me in. It’s been a strange dance between being hopeful/staying motivated and being realistic/expecting the unexpected and being flexible with whatever challenges lie ahead, which I can’t even anticipate because I haven’t technically started my service with Peace Corps yet. All I know is I’m here now and I’m not going to give up, but I’m going to keep calm and carry on.

Stay tuned friends. Pray for me. Send me good thoughts and love, because I get them all.

Famil(iarit)y is where the Heart is

The Matching Ceremony is the day us, PCTs, get to meet our host families. The people that will be providing, serving, loving, and protecting us for the next 11 weeks of our PST. When I think of the word family and of what it means to me, I think of support. My family back home provided the support I needed to chase and accomplish my dream of living in humility and service for those in need, and I knew that by the good grace of God a supportive family would be provided for me again. During that first hour or so, I thought I was going to poop my pants.  I nervously sat through some words said by the Peace Corps Country Director, Botswana Director of Programming and Training, Assistant District Commissioner, Chief of Bakwena, and the principal of IHS (my training center that I attend for PST) and I couldn’t help eagerly looking over at the different families that were also staring back searching for their PCT to claim as their son or daughter. 

Anyone who knows me knows it’s not a usual occurrence to see me cry or tear up. It takes a lot for me to show and express that kind of vulnerability. But it happened on this day in Molepolole, Botswana. All the feelings of excitement, nervousness, anticipation, anxiety, and expectations led up to me tearing up at the National Anthem sung by the host families that had gathered at the Matching Ceremony. I was touched and the tears just came tumbling down. The notes of song just got to me, hands down. It was also this moment of realization that I am going to be living here in Botswana, as a foreigner with aspirations to become familiar and find commonality with a country that is not at all familiar to me currently, but will one day be. Everything that my heritage, my roots, and my past has trained me to fulfill my purpose or goals with this special and unique service opportunity. As my racing thoughts and emotions started to wind down with the Anthems (both Botswana and American), one by one we were all called and matched with our host families. It was intense, I kept hoping and wishing that the next name called would be mine and at the same time hoping it wouldn’t be, because of my fears of not meeting my family’s expectations of a stereotypical "American". 

Finally, I heard my name called. Twice. I didn’t quite catch on because I was so overwhelmed with finally having got to this stage of meeting my caretakers for the next 11 weeks. I looked to the side of the auditorium where most of the host family members seemed to have come from, only to be called from the opposite side by my one member. My host sister, specifically. Her name is Bibi. *mic drop*.

How on Earth can someone have the same name as me, or technically my alias or nickname. I have heard of people knowing another Bibiana. But I have never physically met or been introduced to anyone with my name or even my pseudo-name. This is what it feels like when destiny and fate meet up and tango. I just was in utter awe when she told me her name, like hot damn this is awesome. She spoke perfect English fluently, which made it so much more awesome to converse with her and make the small talk before getting into our backgrounds, which we did later when I came home with her. I say the word, home, so casually. But I really think that home is what you make of a place that seems comfortable and familiar to you, just like a family.

I hope to upload a video of my new surroundings aka compound for the next 11 weeks, we have a chicken shed (I’ve been told we slaughter some after the 6 weeks of development are complete and eat them for dinner… for the latecomers I’ve turned back to eating meat again to not limit myself from the Botswana culture), we have guard dogs (Michele and Dubai and a naughty dog that I can’t seem to remember the name for the life of me…) and I have my own little cement compound that loves to soak up the cold from the late nights and the sunshine during the very warm (think around 70-80 degrees). Also for those of you that don’t know, Botswana typically experiences dry and wet seasons. Currently it is in the dry/winter season where it gets up to 70 degrees in the day and 30 degrees at night. Brrr trust me. We have a neat kitchen, laundry line, 3 different houses/huts, and a water line (I use the water filter that Peace Corps has bestowed upon us PCTs for our convenience and safety). Oh did I forget to mention the lovely pit latrine that I use for my pleasant and hopefully regular bowel routines. Yeah, it's been quite an experience, my first time using a latrine ever! Honestly if I can go whenever and not be disturbed, which usually is possible except late at night. Honestly I don’t care if it’s a hole in the ground or what, I will use whatever is available. My host sister, Bibi, also told me this would probably be a good preparation for whatever remote site Peace Corps might assign me, and the site could only have a latrine available. Regardless, I’m thankful it has a toilet seat and it has enough depth where it wouldn’t reek like a porta-potty. 

For what I can call my own, I have my own cozy room made up of cement. It has curtains and windows! I have brought all my pictures of friends and family, but I only carry around one of my family taken during my “Graduation” (taken at my Graduation Crawfish Boil of my dad chomping on a crawfish, brother with that good NOLA blonde brew in hand, and sister and Oma cheesin’ away). I have brought with me a world map to give me a reality check of how small the world can seem, yet so vast (also going to take the educational opportunity to teach locals about South Korea~ yippee!) I was also given a stand-up mirror, a dresser to place some random knick knacks, a lovely two seater sofa, and a cozy bed that already had bedding included. Not to mention in the corner I have a lovely basin and bucket for my own body washing.

My first bucket bathing experience was interesting. I think it will have to be a trial and error of how to efficiently use all of the water and effectively keep it all in my basin. I figure I won’t bathe as often… I mean that’s what baby powder and essential oils are good for, right? Fortunately, I have outlets and my host family has and uses electricity! To my expectations there is no Internet at the house, but there is Internet in the IHS campus library and this lovely internet café not too far from me (an estimated 10 minutes walking distance). To my surprise my host family has cable and TV! I hope to not fall into traps of mindless TV watching, but be proactive in seeking other forms of entertainment. Also for those that worry, I live right across from the Molepolole Police Station, which seems super convenient if I get myself into a pickle I suppose. 

Now the rest of the day was spent chatting with Bibi about life. I mean we covered topics ranging from her early pregnancy, the life she leads as a strong and independent woman who doesn’t just accept cheating men in her life (such as her friends or neighbors she knows that has—this seems very common in Botswana culture), her family, her dreams, her lessons, and her passion and love for God. Many of you know that I have left Catholicism on the shelf to revisit the past and familiar customs and beliefs, but my heart remains Christian. I will always pursue God and my faith as diligently as I can, but I try to find and hold onto strong connections and qualities that lead to God. No matter what. So, the fact that this woman (who again has my pseudo-name) has this commonality and a determined love and faith for and with God has been placed into my life during my journey… This isn’t coincidence. This is definitely to me a divine intervention. I identify with this woman on so many levels, and am so blessed to have her in my life for guidance, care, and support. I also met her son, Jacob*, who is a bright, young, and cheerful 17 years old guy who seems shy, but I can’t wait to get him to open up and warm up to me. Bibi doesn’t seem worried about him at all, but gushes about how he blessed her life regardless of her situation of raising Jacob as a single mother. 

I can’t help but to think about all the research, case studies, and frameworks I had learned about in graduate school on the levels and contributing factors that drive women to become a vulnerable population and have this greater and significant risk to different burdens of disease based on cultural norms and peer pressure based on gender roles and identities. This one person personalizes that model, and I know that I will meet many more individuals that I will be able to place faces to those models, and relationships instead of cold hard numbers and facts.

Good things Come to those who Wait, Right?

2:00 AM 

Packed and ready to leave for JFK Airport

9:00 AM 

Stand and try to move baggage in line awkwardly when your life for the next 27 months are packed in 2 suitcases packed (over the maximum weight), 1 traveling backpack that feels like it’s own suitcase, and 1 extremely packed backpack that my sister convinced me last minute to sneak on as carry-on (It worked, thanks Sis). Luckily all the advice from the previous Bots (Botswana) group had been spot on, all our checked in luggage went through and passed weight clearance.

11:00 AM 

Board flight to Johannesburg, pop melatonin, try to find sleep for the next what I hope at least 5-6 hours. But must wait till after lunch, because these international flights have "incredible" meals supposedly. They were alright to my findings. The breakfast later on was an interesting pancake gravy that I would not recommend to anyone.

After this point I honestly had no sense of time, but from what I gathered I had slept for a solid few hours and felt great. Then I proceeded to order an airplane bottle of Cabarnet Sauvignon (sorry Oma) that was 13%. What a deal. I felt super self-conscious and wanted a drinking partner, which coincidentally Graham* had been walking down the aisles asking how people were and sharing stashes of Amulura (this amazing fruit that elephants in the Southern region of Africa love to eat and get drunk from, and also what a hilarious and cute image of an elephant being wasted off of fruit), and proceeded to share with the rest of us. It’s these one of many small gestures that really made me appreciate the cohort that I was placed among, that seemed to care for others. So I wanted to stash a few to carry with me to preserve as a memento of my trip/flight, only to find I had drank my only one and gave one away to another PCT (Peace Corps Trainee). Go figure. But in the process sitting next to another PCT I met this amazing interesting woman, her name was Elaine*. Elaine was involved with an NGO that worked under the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation in vaccine use. An exciting, independent, and very wise woman who seemed single and ready to mingle by her flirty winks at Markins (our supposedly only straight air steward) and enlightened us over a course of a few airplane bottles of wine of her years of experience and wisdom in public health, foreigners in South Africa and Botswana, and her extreme admiration for us Peace Corps Trainees and our service to other countries. She definitely made my heart glow and even took down our names, emails, and blogs for her personal interest. She also extended an invitation to her home in South Africa for some REAL good wine, which sounds absofuckinglutely amazing.

Jokes aside though I will never forget Elaine, she was one of those extremely personable role models in public health that I hope to aspire and become one day. Cue violins I know. 

Land in Johannesburg, South Africa. 

Finally, I have touched African soils. My first time ever. It still had not sunk in though that I was in a different place. I have been in airports before this is nothing new, and that had so far been my experience in Africa. Well the waiting game did not end there. 

Once we got in and began the strenuous process of security clearance, we came to an unexpected change in our flight. Thing number one that didn’t happen according to plan (most indubitably one of many to come). We were supposed to board at 11:45 AM only to find our flight was delayed to the next one at 3:00 PM. My desire at this point was to see South Africa and let my eyes just soak in the entire scenery that South Africa had to offer. Unfortunately, that sight was limited to the confinements of an airport with luggage, my fellow restless and trapped PCTs, and free 30 minutes of complimentary wifi that I greatly appreciated (for those of you that follow me on Snapchat- hence my avocado socked friend that appeared that one day). We were told to arrive dressed as business casual. And I took that into careful consideration knowing that throughout all our packets provided by Peace Corps in preparation of our service and PST, that professional attire was strict in Botswana. This was shocking to me, because I pictured Peace Corps volunteers in Chacos or Teva sandals with a random t-shirt and jeans every day. The best piece of advice my wonderful friend Alexis gave me was to BRING SEMI-PROFESSIONAL BUSINESS ATTIRE. Thanks girl! Luckily in my one suitcase packed with just clothes (which I supremely regret not bringing more snacks and food items that remind me of home), I had plenty of them.

Then when the time came, all 30ish of us eagerly boarded our little mini plane to Gabarone. The flight was incredibly short lasting only 45 minutes, which in contrast to our wait time seems extremely hilarious. Once we landed into Gabarone, the exhaustion and restless seemed to cloud my excitement, but nevertheless I knew this was monumental moment in my life. One of the many emotions and super deep thoughts I feel and try to process as I’m trying to move along like cattle herded by Peace Corps.

Note to my future visitors: the collection of our baggage was extremely sketchy, and I was warned by Elaine on our flight that often when flights are delayed it means that Customs are rifling through our luggage and stealing items in the process (luckily nothing of mine seemed stolen except for a few Hera face cream products that I had stashed in the front without a lock- a rookie mistake). It also seemed the first group that had arrived on time and earlier than us had luggage that was mixed with ours as well. However, in the end all our things came back to our possession. Yay!

Travelling on these major large and in charge combis (aka minivans/shuttles in Botswana), my fellow PCTs and I were packed in and shipped off to meet and greet our Peace Corps staff, faculty, and supervisors. We took a lovely picture that was sent to my family and I believe posted on that Facebook link that I provided my second blog post that we had all arrived safely to our site. Once we were greeted by the Peace Corps staff and faculty, we were then thrown into a whirlwind of expectations, multiple orientation sessions to assimilate ourselves into Botswana life and culture, and the transition into our PST in Molepolole (our home for the next 11 weeks) before we are assigned to our official site for service. 

==A side-note I am technically not in the Peace Corps serving, but am a Trainee until I pass PST. So if any of ya’ll who can pray and meditate for my success, endurance, perseverance that would be awesome.==

Over the course of three days from August 1 – August 3, I was being pampered at Ave Maria Pastoral Center located right next to Botho University. I had three meals a day, including tea times. Botswana people love their bush tea aka Rooibos. The coffee here was questionable to my standards (all instant stuff), but ya’ll know I love a good Americano! I had a working shower and functional toilet. I still couldn’t help feeling like my hand was being held. But looking back, I am so grateful for the transition that Peace Corps has provided so we can be comfortable during these awkward days of adjustment. I suppose those little things matter and they don’t matter as much to me, but I’m sure I’ll eat those words later on. I’ve waited 6 years to live in a complete, utter state of humility and what’s a few more days.

*Names have been changed for the confidentiality and protection of those I have interacted with.

No more Last Anythings, but Firsts of Somethings

July 30-31 (The first 26 hours into the next 27 months of my adventure)

Staging or my brief orientation began in Philadelphia while staying at the luxurious Sonesta Hotel, an image and location I believed to be ironic to where I might be residing my next few years. The amazing amenities, which included a shower that gave me hot water immediately, the comfort of clean sheets and a warm bed, and the air conditioning that kept the room at a constant cool breathable temperature; these were luxuries I felt like were going to be greatly missed and appreciated once I landed far away from a land I knew as home and comfort. Fast forward to the meat of Staging, which included an extensive and packed itinerary. What the itinerary had in store for me was a myriad of ice-breakers of getting to know my cohort, being assigned some carry around money, getting documents signed, sending documents home, understanding Peace Corps expectations and facts about the organization, and just dots on the i and dashes on the t of being a part of an agency/organization belonging to the federal government. No big deal. 

The process of information receiving and reciting seemed exhausting from what lack of sleep I had received over the past few days (although will not even compare to what the PST “pre-service training” schedule has me on), the adrenaline I was feeling during these 26 hours was an ecstasy I had never imagined or could ever have imagined. I was about to embark on what was my dream for the past six years. Six years. That’s sounds insane to say out loud… to even hear myself say it. And the people I have come across and have had the fortune to interact with, it’s incredible that their dreams have been matched for an even longer time spent waiting to embark on this similar quest for humanity and service.  

In the Botswana 17^th cohort there were 81 members. One had dropped out having found love; one of the main reasons why people leave Peace Corps. I had already been exposed through MI (Master’s International) meetings that people have their reasons for leaving Peace Corps and that there is no dishonor in that. I know Peace Corps is not for everyone and that’s something I had to wait and trust within myself that I could or at least attempt to leave what I have known for the past 26 years. I had 80 new faces that would soon become familiar, and names that possibly might stick, but I knew and trusted that there will be some life-long friendships that would be made in this particular adventure of mine that will take me through some of the most rewarding experiences ever. 

When I look back on my treasured friendships over the years, it was definitely hard swallowing and regurgitating goodbyes from the people that I feel I have made such deep connections with over my life years. The separation from the familiar was not unknown, but the separation from my family of those that have known me for all my life and seen me through phases of awkwardness (which I think I will still go through for the rest of my days) and growth that definitely cut deep. I had thoughts going back to my last meal with friends, last dinner with my parents and siblings in America, favorite last Korean dish, last night out with close friends with no anxieties over transportation or being a victim based on my gender, and I thought to myself… No more. We as human beings like to dwell and live in our past, but it stops us from looking forward to the future. I am very guilty of this act. But I know with my faith in God’s plan and purpose and my desire to follow His calling has led me to this point and it will drive me farther than I ever could imagine.